Whether it’s off to university or to start a new job, leaving home for the first time can be an exciting yet daunting time for any young person. For children who have grown up in foster care, however, the process of leaving home can feel quite different.
Having emotional support and connection with family members to ease into adult life and independent living is important, but many foster children have to do it by themselves, without the lifeline to parents and a family home.
Jake (first left in picture above) from Gwynedd spent most of his childhood in foster care – from the age of 8 through until 18.
Jake, who is now 26, has spoken about the life-changing impact a local foster family from Bala has had on him.
He shares his experience of leaving foster care and preparing for adulthood, and how he continues to be close to his foster carers.
“Life in foster care isn’t always easy, especially as a young child, but that’s down to the complicated situation, not the foster carers,” said Jake, who now lives in Liverpool and works as a Personal Trainer.
“But as you get older, you do appreciate it more and there are many more highs than there are lows.”
“When I turned 18 and about to go to university in Liverpool, I remember feeling quite upset about the prospect that I would have nowhere to go during the holidays and no family to support me anymore. That was tough at the time as it wasn’t something I had really thought about before.”
“Although I was an adult and off to university, I wasn’t ready to be fully independent – is anyone at that age?
what happens after 18?
Although children officially become an adult at 18, and no longer in care, there are options for young people to remain with their current foster carer.
For many young people, they are offered what is known as When I am Ready (or Staying Put in England), where the young person can remain with their foster carer until they reach 21, and even then the support doesn’t stop until they reach 25. This gives our young people the opportunity to attend college, university or find work and be ready for independence, and be more like their peers.
Although this isn’t possible for all young people, due to factors such as living space, foster carers age or health or continuing to foster other children in the home, many continue to have a relationship with their foster carers beyond 18, like Jake.
‘i felt so lucky’
“I had known Sian, Owain and the family for many years as they supported other local foster carers so I would often go to stay with them at weekends or when my foster family at the time needed a little break.
“So when they contacted me to say that they would support me through university and beyond, and that there would always be a home for me with them in Bala, I felt so lucky. It meant everything to me.
“Although there is plenty of help and support available with independent living until you are 25, without a family to emotionally support you and a place to call home, it means very little.”
‘they became my parents, my forever family’
Although Jake had regular contact with his birth family throughout his time in foster care and lived with one brother, he now considers Sian and Owain as his parents and forever family. He recently re-connected with his younger sister, who was adopted at a young age, and has also gained many foster siblings.
“We have good relationships, we speak daily and I visit regularly. I’ll always go home to Bala to celebrate birthdays, Christmas and other special ocassions, there’s no where else I’d want to be. We recently went on a family holiday together, along with my girlfriend, who they have also welcomed to the family.
“I honestly don’t know who and where I’d be now if it wasn’t for Sian, Owain and the family’s continued love and support. I don’t think I would have completed my degree without them. I struggled with my studies at times, especially during my second year, but they got me through it and I graduated with a degree in Sport Nutrition.
They are the most amazing people and I love being part of the family.
They’ve gone above and beyond what I ever expected and for that, I will be forever grateful.
Everyone needs a family, at every stage of life. That does not, and should not end at 18 or 25 – or at any age for that matter.”
For more information about fostering with your local authority in Gwynedd, or to make an enquiry, visit: fosterwales.gwynedd.llyw.cymru
If you live anywhere else in Wales, visit Foster Wales for more information and to find your local authority fostering team.
